Post Delivery Story

Thursday October 6 - Saturday October 8 2011 - POST DELIVERY:

Because I had gestational diabetes during pregnancy both the baby and I were monitored and our blood sugar tested.  We both were free and clear the next day - no diabetes here!  We did both however have fevers and remained in the hospital until Thursday.  Before being discharged from the hospital they did a jaundice test (one where they scan her forehead) and it came out a bit high.  The pediatrician decided a blood test for a more accurate reading was necessary.  That showed a lower level then the first scan and so they went ahead and sent us home with instructions to come back in Saturday to the clinic to check up on her.

This is where the stress began ... she basically slept the entire time from Thursday through Saturday.  We had to wake her to try and feed her which seemed like an impossible task.  We would strip her down to her diaper and rub a wet wash cloth over her to make her cry and wake her up.  We rarely even saw her blue eyes - they were always shut tight!  She would fall asleep instantly when I tried to nurse her and because she never ate she didn't poop the entire time.  I knew that newborns slept a lot but this seemed like too much.  My gut told me something was wrong and Nate and I were panicked.  Through my sobbing we spent Friday night praying and trying to keep her awake as we constantly tried to get some food in her.  I know our prayers were answered as she ate more that night than the past few days combined and our minds were eased while we waited for our follow up appointment with the doctor.

Turns out there was some need for concern - she had lost a pound from her birth weight and looked increasingly more jaundiced.  We were re-admitted to the hospital right away and again I was a sobbing mess, although grateful that they were going to help us.  She immediately was put under glowing blue lights - bilie lights - to address the climbing jaundice levels.  At this point my milk had started to come in but since she disliked nursing so much I was in a lot of pain.  I began the process of relieving my swollen breasts through pumping and we also bottle fed donor milk to the baby.  These were hard days because we couldn't hold her very much - we could only take her out of the lights for feeding and diaper changes.  The good news was that she continued to be agreeable and not cry while under the warmth of the lights.

Grandpa Soelberg and Stella giving each other similar looks

All in all we were in the hospital from Saturday afternoon through Monday afternoon.  She still was not extremely enthusiastic about breastfeeding but I was now producing a little bit of milk and could pump as much as possible and supplement with formula.  She was gaining weight and her jaundice levels were way down.  It was sort of a "chicken and the egg" scenario - she was tired because she wasn't eating, she wasn't eating because she was tired, the jaundice made her tired and not want to eat, not eating made her more jaundiced because she wasn't pooping and ridding her body of the toxins, etc.

With Grandma Soelberg in the hospital

Each day at home she is getting more and more interested in breastfeeding and we are having more of the typical experience of having a newborn.  She is waking up when she is hungry, we see her eyes more often because she is actually awake, and she is gaining weight!  We get excited over poopy diapers in this house and when she cries out for food we smile and snuggle her because we are so happy she is improving!

As for me ... I had a second-degree tear and required quite a bit of stitching up, making the recovery a little challenging.  I continually forget that it hasn't been that long since I gave birth and to take it easy.  Just being around the house I am okay but doctor's visits and errands quickly ware me out and require a nap.  But the good news is that I have lost A LOT of water I had been retaining for the past few months - 20 lbs off already which is half of what I gained during pregnancy.  I still have another 20 to go plus an additional 35 of my own so we shall see how this goes.

i can't stop kissing those cheeks!

Right now I am thankful for a healthy baby that is nursing every 2-3 hours and getting even chubbier cheeks!  I am also thankful to have my feet back!  My feet have been swollen since month 5 and they got even worse a few days following Stella's delivery.  But just two days ago they came back!  I look forward to wearing shoes again!

The Birth Story (every detail)

Sunday October 2, 2011:

We checked into the hospital at 7:00pm with the intention of inducing labor.  I wasn't even remotely softening or dilating.  The first attempt at induction started at 8pm with the insertion of a pill close to my cervix.  The hope was that the drug would soften my cervix and start contractions.  We did this every four hours for the rest of the night - a total of 4 times - with not much improvement.

Monday October 3, 2011:

I was dilated 1 cm by Monday morning and I was having erratic and unproductive contractions (that were not painful).  Unfortunately the baby's heart rate was showing extreme highs and lows in response to the contractions so they decided to do a pitocin test to check more accurately her response to contractions.  This was the first mention of a possible C-Section.  Because my contractions were so erratic they gave me a low dose of pitocin with the hopes of observing 4 contractions in 10 minutes and observing the baby's heart rate in response.  Thankfully, she responded quite well to the pitocin test so my doctor decided to give me and baby a rest for the remainder of the day and let the medications get out of our systems and see if I would have more regular contractions on my own.  If not, we would try again with the insertion of the cervix softening drug and do Monday's whole process again.  As a result we were able to get about 7 hours of sleep Monday night - a welcome change from the night before of being monitored and checked periodically through the night.

Tuesday October 4, 2011:

Around 7am the nurse came in to start the insertion of the cervix softening drug ... she guessed I was maybe dilated 2cm.  Around 8:40am the doctor on call (my doctor had been on 24 hour duty on Tuesday and was now off) came in and checked me again saying that I was dialated 2cm and she could stretch me to 3cm (and I could feel it).  While she was in there she stripped my membranes and decided now was a good time to break my water.  I am glad she did it all at once but whoa ... that was super uncomfortable!  Contractions started in about 2 hours later once they could give me pitocin and then the real fun began.  While the pitocin did have the desired affect of stimulating contractions it did have some awful residual affects ... mainly coupling and tripling of contractions.  This means I did not experience those oft described periods of "rest" between contractions.  I can count on three fingers the number of restful minutes during my six plus hours of hard labor.  I would build up to a really strong contraction and after peaking I would slowly start to come down off the contraction but before I hit that period of rest my uterus would decide that it wasn't quite ready to quit and it would start the up swing into a SECOND contraction and peak slightly lower than the first contraction.  And if I was really lucky (which I often was) there would be a THIRD contraction to top it off.  I had hoped to be able to move around while laboring - using a birth ball and a soaking tub - but was unable to due to triple contractions and all the monitors I was on - including an internal monitor for my contractions.  To make matters worse I had a BAD case of the shakes.  My entire body shook in between contractions.  It was so bad that I felt a sense of desperation and started to fear the upcoming contraction - a really bad head-space to be in while in labor (in my humble opinion).

Needless to say I was exhausted.  After six plus hours the doctor came in to check my progress.  I had heard so much deflating news over the past few days that I was convinced that I was just suffering and that not much progress was being made.  Part of it was I couldn't get my hopes up.  I even expressed at one point that I wasn't sure that we were really going to have a baby today.  The nurses assured me that I would - one way or another.  I was ready to agree to a C-Section at this point if it was brought up again.  Unknown to me the nurses were convinced that I was not progressing either and had started the paperwork for it.  The doctor checked me and announced that I was dilated 7cm!  The entire room - my parents, the nurses, the doctor, Nate, and I - all cheered!  It was such a relief.  At this point the nurse informed me that I had escaped a C-Section a second time.

I felt a sense of accomplishment at this point and felt totally at peace with the decision to have an epidural.  My biggest fear was that I would have to be in that rounded position during a triple contraction or that my severe shaking would make the insertion of the needle impossible.  I expressed my concerns and the wonderful anesthesiologist assured me that she would be able to do it as long as no sudden movements happened.  The hospital had this amazing apparatus for me to get into position ... it looked like an upright massage chair where I put my forehead against it and a platform for my feet and I took a hold of Nate's shirt and held him close while arching my back.  THE EPIDURAL WAS A DREAM.  I have heard horror stories about them not working, leaving you unable to walk for sometime, only working on one side, etc. but I was sooo blessed to have it work perfectly.  My entire labor I had been mostly uncommunicative - breathing and moaning through the contractions while holding Nate's hand against the bed rail while on my side with a pillow between my legs.  It is important to note that Nate was awesome during the birth.  He was there for me the entire time - I really needed to feel his presence there and he watched the monitors vigilantly.  He had expressed concern about the sights and smells of birth and wasn't sure he would be able to get through witnessing it ... lets face it ... he was scared.  But in reality he was a champ and wanted to be a part of everything.  He pretty much saw it all and didn't feel like he needed to leave or couldn't handle what was going on.  I was really really happy.  Once the epidural had taken affect I was "back" - as Nate said - and was chatting up the room.  I felt like I could actually do this.  Another two hours went by while I finished dilating the remaining three centimeters ... which were actually really restful for me.

The baby was moving down slowly - the doctor assured me that my pushing was helping and although I couldn't feel it we were making progress.  Unfortunately it was much slower then we all wanted and they were getting increasingly concerned.  I had developed a fever and they were suspecting that an infection was brewing in my uterus and might be the cause of my erratic contractions.  They told me if we didn't start pushing now and get her out soon we were looking at a C-Section for a third time today.  The nurses and doctor decided not to mention to me that the size of her head (turns out to be 14 inches) and my pelvis were at odds and thus they were concerned that we weren't going to be able to deliver vaginally ... after all that work that information would have been hard for me to hear so I was thankful to learn that information later.  As we began to get ready for pushing my mom grabbed my left leg and Nate had my right leg and I reached behind my thighs and bared down.  I was unable to identify the strongest contractions from the weaker ones (because yes I was still having double and triple contractions) and we wanted to make sure we pushed on the strong ones.  We got going on the pushing and I felt as though my eyes were going to pop out of my head.  For pretty much all labor and delivery my eyes were shut as I channeled my energy into getting the baby out.  I was trying to not get too light headed or feel like I was going to pass out.  As pushing progressed the internal monitor was removed and I was on my own knowing when to push but by this time I had a good idea.  I could feel the contractions at the top of my uterus and they weren't painful and then I could feel the pressure down below.  I was now calling the shots in the room and telling everyone when to get ready because we were going to start pushing.  My dad was across the room - out of visual range - and we put him to work counting to ten.  He mostly did a great job except in the moments when he ran out of breathe and started acting like a personal trainer and trailing off with the counting.  At that point I yelled out - "this is not a work out video - I am not pushing until you say ten, I am quitting at ten." He started to shape up then - hahaha.

Although I was told that everyone could see her head I wouldn't allow myself to think it meant more than just a spot on her head.  In reality a good portion of her head was visible!  I took my cues more from actions around me than the words I was hearing - when everyone got excited and animated I realized she was coming!  When the doctor started to get on her protective gear I realized we were close and I pushed even harder.  The doctor at this point said that she was going to use a vacuum to help her get out of there and I tried my best to make due with out it.  In the end the vacuum is exactly what she needed.  After about 45 min of pushing out she came at 7:05pm!

Finally here!  And she has hair!

Its funny to say but it all happened so fast - she was out and up on my chest in one big motion.  I was in shock that she was finally here.  She hadn't yet cried and so they took her away for a moment and Nate went with her as they cleaned her up and got her crying - I could hear her right away and I cried also.  Nate quickly brought her back to me and we had over an hour skin-to-skin contact.  I was like a broken record saying "BABY" and "She's so beautiful" over and over and over again.  She looked amazing - nice and full cheeks with smooth skin!  No wrinkly new-born baby here!  Other than the substantial bruise and a few abrasions on her head from the vacuum, she was perfect.  I cried and thanked Heavenly Father for a beautiful and healthy baby girl.  Nate and I are just amazed at how beautiful and wonderful she is.  We love her so much.  We still look at each other and say, "we have a baby!" or "can you believe that we did that?  we birthed a baby!"

It truly is a miracle and I have a deeper and more profound respect for women across the world and the ages for sacrificing so much and being so brave.  I feel honored to be counted among those women who are called mothers.  I am also humbled by the responsibility of motherhood and am thankful for the influence of the Spirit to guide Nate and I thorough this journey of parenthood. 

Stella Mae we love you more than words can describe!

Stella Mae Soelberg

IV and monitors ... ready to go!

N&B ... while I was still waiting for the hard stuff to happen.

After 6 hours of hard labor ... 2 hours of hard labor off-set by the epidural ... 

and 45 minutes of pushing ...

STELLA MAE SOELBERG was born!

Tuesday October 4, 2011

7:05pm

7 lb 14.8 ounces

19 inches

mom and stella about an hour after her birth ... needless to say I am tired.

N&B with STELLA!  Our first family photo!

she loves to suck on her hands ... just as I saw time and time again in the womb!

with Grandpa David ... grandchild number 11!

proud papa ... Nate is such a good dad and loves his baby girl

chubby cheeks ... just like i ordered

(sorry for the cleavage)

since she was a GD baby we thought she might be bigger ... so NONE of her clothes fit her yet (sorry for the cleavage)

momma and baby ... i LOVE this girl beyond words

grandpa always has a statement to make

thinking hard as we leave the hospital (sorry again with the cleavage)

BIRTH STORY DETAILS COMING IN THE NEAR FUTURE

waiting on an angel ...

This girl and my body don't agree with the doctor who wanted her to come a week early because of GD. I am currently dilated ONE cm only after inserting multiple "softening " medications since 8 pm last night and even a trial run on pitocin. I am not in pain I am just uncomfortable.

The doctor is giving me a break for a few hours to flush the meds out of my system and we will start again tonight. We are crossing our fingers that this second round will work and that contractions will start and be productive.

We shall see!

count down

as of friday my OB has decided that Sunday night he will check me into the hospital ... so we could see baby girl in less than a week!

other good news ... my last day of work was friday! yay! it was a great job and a fun place to work but i am tired and ready to rest up for the labor and motherhood ahead. its really setting in how life changing this is and how much i love this little fortune cookie. we are so excited to have her be apart of the family and kick off our parenthood!

of course i have all sorts of ideas of how to spend this week - nesting, resting, and walking ... hopefully to get the whole birth thing going. most everything for baby is all ready to go and since we don't know her name yet I can't do any crafty name specific projects for her like i would like. but there are some wet bag/accessory bags that i want to quickly sew this week before she arrives, along with some christmas crafts/gifts and home projects (not too involved) that i want to get going.

i also have about three different books going on to keep me from wasting my life on the internet this week ... a natural birthing book (we shall see if i can go this route ... but i am open to options), a "how to help your baby be less fussy and sleep longer" book, and a good old southern story - "Gone with the Wind."

a fun week ahead ... including General Conference ... so hopefully i won't be too bored waiting for Sunday night to come along.

i will post a picture of the belly this week!

baby shower, birthing class, and 34 weeks

i had a great trip out to see the family in the OC at the beginning of the month. my sister and mom threw me a baby shower and it was great! lots of fun items! baby girl has got some clothes! more than one baby girl deserves i am sure. between gifts and having girl cousins, we are really excited for the fun things to dress her up in! baby girl also has quilts and blankets galore - most are hand made and so so darling. we are really excited this little one will be kept nice and snuggly in the cold Eugene rain. and nate parents got us this sweet crib ...

i know ... i am obsessed with gray. it is just the right neutral - not too bland and boring, still a good base, but not too dominating. i just love it. i love the modern simplicity of it.

as i mentioned before, nate and i were going to be apart for 4 days for the first time since we have been married - we have our 2nd anniversary on Monday (woot, woot). i was doing fine on Thursday and Friday and even Saturday. but Sunday rolls around and i start getting sad about it. i had a hard time for the rest of the trip ... which i wonder how much is pregnancy hormones and how much were my real feelings. i haven't lived with my parents or in california in 10 years so its not like it had felt like home for a long time ... but i really really felt this time that this was not my home and that i actually did have a home someplace else ... nate is my home and my home is in eugene. i missed our small little life together and just seeing him. needless to say i cried when i finally got home at midnight on Tuesday. i love you babe.

in mom/baby health news ... this week starts the beginning of twice a week doctor's appointments - one for a mini ultra-sound to check the amniotic fluid levels and one for a non-stress test where they monitor baby girl's heart beat over a period of time. i saw baby girl yawn three times on the ultra-sound today ... her jaw was very easy to distinguish and it looked so crazy! she is moving around like crazy these days, especially at night (which makes me feel like she has her days and nights mixed up ... great). nate had his hand on my belly the other night and felt her doing her gymnastics and we were cracking up how dramatic the movements have become. we are amazed.

sleeping has headed into the challenging realm ... finding a comfortable spot is tough and sleep is starting to missed at odd hours ... guess that's all prep for when she is actually here! my nesting instincts are setting in and i have prepped the nursery for the most part. we only have one package of diapers so far (thanks Gennie) ... so i better get on that! its hard to stock up when you don't know how little or big this girl is going to be and what brand of diapers you will like! i have clothes ready to go by size all put away in the dresser and look forward to another baby shower here in Eugene in a few weekends.

we had a marathon birthing class last saturday. it was actually really good, contrary to what we had heard from friends. it was informative and good prep for us. it kind of gave us some confidence in the whole thing and was really good for nate. videos and all and he left feeling more confident in his roll of supporting me during labor and delivery ... i on the other had - being so close to giving birth - was just amazed that i was actually going to go through that. i am going to birth a baby. i feel a little more confident and hope that i can actually apply some of the stuff we learned on the big day.

in other news ... my OB thinks that the GD specialist won't let me go past 39 weeks ... we shall see what he says at my appointment next Tuesday where i will see baby girl again in 3-D. it feels to me that even just over the past week i have had a growth spurt - no, that's not a basketball under my dress these days ...

i did not intend on having the exercise ball in the picture as a reference point, but i guess it works. 8 1/2 months, I suppose this roundness is appropriate :) its especially crazy when you compare it to this 6 week shot:



side view at 34 weeks ... embracing the roundness that is me and my baby girl ... so excited to meet her!

we are also still playing the name game ... trying to decide a name is really intimidating! i know we are going to have to see her before we really decide but what if we don't know even after that?!

the most photographed baby in utero

as of today - August 8th - i am 31 weeks! just a week shy of 8 months pregnant. a friend asked me the other day how far along and when i replied - almost 31 weeks she replied - "oh, only 9 more weeks to go - that's not too long" .... and that is when i started to have a mini panic. mostly about labor ... sort of about having a baby to take care of ... but mostly about labor. i have had two friends here in Oregon that have recently given birth and all i can say is whoa. but they are recovering and doing great - bumpy roads to motherhood and all. and there are all of you ladies out there reading this that have done it ... some of you multiple times! so i keep telling myself that millions of women have given birth in the course of history and certainly i can do it too. i feel blessed to be counted among you ladies and i am very excited to join the ranks of motherhood.

baby girl has been moving and shaking a ton these days, which adds to the reality that yes - there is a human being growing in my womb. the 3-D ultra sound images below (taken today) also help to solidify the reality! she is 3 1/2 pounds already (she gained an ounce this week)! she was sort of shy and had her hand up to her face the entire time we were looking at her ... we even tried to poke and jiggle her into another position without much success. this is what she was doing most of the time:


i love how you can see the definition of the hands and fingers so well! here is another shot where it's either her hand moving (so its blurry) or its the umbilical cord by her face. the other shots pretty much look like the one above or below.

i may have shed a few tears when i saw this girl's face. its so amazing how something so precious will be ours to love and take care of. i felt really really blessed to be her mom in this moment.

the reason for this super spiffy ultra-sound at this stage of the game is because i recently was diagnosed with gestational diabetes (GD). not awesome. according to the doctors due to my family history i most likely will have it with any subsequent pregnancies (95% chance). i of course immediately worried that my pre-pregnancy weight-gain triggered my genes and the dietitian said that she didn't really think so. she said finding out this late in pregnancy was a good sign - keep the GD off as long as possible. of course losing the baby weight and the pre-pregnancy weight before another baby is desirable for all sorts of health and happiness reasons, it will at best delay the onset of gestational diabetes. with GD the pregnancy hormones keep my body from utilizing insulin to the best of its ability.

i get the joy of testing my blood four times a day with this little guy:



and have become quite skilled over the last four days. the trend thus far is that my fasting (over-night) blood sugar is high and so is my 1-hour post breakfast blood sugar (no matter what i do or do not eat). i can get my post lunch and dinner blood sugar down though with watching my carb intake (i love carbs of course) and limiting my fruits (so mean to a pregnant lady in the summer - right?) but we shall see. i might have to go on some medication at night to help keep the morning sugars low.

so they will be monitoring my blood sugar and checking up on baby girl via ultra-sound again in four weeks ... that will make a total of 5 ultra-sounds!

12 weeks - "are you really 14 weeks? nope you are 12 weeks" vaginal ultra-sound
20 weeks - "its a girl" ultra-sound - but she's measuring a tiny bit small
30 weeks - "just checking" ultra-sound - she looks good!
31 weeks - "gestational diabetes monitoring" ultra-sound - she still looks good!
next one - 35 weeks to check to make sure she is not getting too big

nate and i joke that she is the most photographed baby in utero on the planet.

the doctors won't let me go late for fear of the baby getting too big and if she is getting too big than they will induce early (eek!) so we will have a baby by October 11th for sure. Whoa.

anyway - since i gave you a shot of my insides, i figure its only fair to give you a shot of what we look like on the outside ... here i am in all my glory with baby girl at 31 weeks:

i wear dresses and skirts a lot these days ... so much more comfortable ... so i made sure to take a snap shot of me in one ... you know - for remembrance and all. my hair is getting so long and while i could definitely use a trim, its still really healthy and feels great. my skin - as i have mentioned before - is a whole other situation ... still awful.

i have a few other updates on projects i have been working on ... crib is up and running ... finally painted the baby's dresser/changing table ... and other projects ... AND i must show you the beautiful blankets/quilts made for me by some dear friends and family ... but all of these things need some photographs first.

one final note ... i am heading to So-Cal this thursday to see family and have a baby shower (yipee!) and its going to be the first time that nate and i have been apart since we were married 23 months ago. yeah we spend all day apart at work but never all day and all night. we are spoiled i know. i think it will be fine ... just weird. we aren't much of phone talkers so this should be interesting.