5 weeks happenings

this is how momma sees stella most of the time ...

 on momma's lap ... her favorite place to fall asleep

surprised face after a bath ... we are slowly starting to enjoy the bath ...

 this picture is the biggest reason i need a new smaller, lighter, faster camera ... 

to catch moments like this ... this is how i found baby girl napping on the couch just moments ago

 loving these cheeks and they are getting bigger and bigger! 

documentation of her natural faux-hawk ... i swear her hair is getting lighter ... 

and i hope her tendency towards being cross-eyed lessens

 and this is what she does each evening when daddy gets home ... she is getting stronger and stronger each day holding her head up!  when nate is holding her i can better see just how little she really is and it still makes me tear up because then i feel really acutely just how much i really love them both ... being a mom is so emotionally overwhelming!

 we love the little pursed lips ... we have yet to catch the "oooo" look she does once in a while ... we love this little girl!

obsession

i know lots of other people have been on the whole Pinterest band wagon already ... but i recently got on.  and. i. am. obsessed.

so if you are on and you happen to see my 266 pins and counting or if you notice that i have repinned your pin, picture me sitting (probably in my pajamas) on my sofa with stella nursing or more likely sleeping on my lap.  clicking "repin" is way easier than typing so its kind of where i am at on what to do while my sweet baby wants to sleep close to momma.  i kind of love it once i get over the guilt of not doing anything else.  i am so lucky.

4 weeks

stella was four weeks old yesterday and its my third day "on my own" since nate went back to work monday.  of course this all coincided nicely with stella's decision to want to be held constantly and desire to nurse continually from 8pm to 1am.  so it looks like this week is a good introduction to the rest of my life.

of course i am grateful and ecstatic to be home with my baby girl ... i feel really blessed for the opportunity to be her mom AND that i get to stay at home with her.  but today as my husband is calling me on his way home for lunch - hoping i have lunch ready for him when he gets here because he's in a rush - the baby is screaming because i put her down for a minute - and i was suppose to put the pot roast in the slow cooker earlier this morning ... i think to myself ... this is hard.  which of course i knew it would be.  but living it brings a whole new understanding. 

mostly i feel guilty.  because i want to be productive at home while my husband is at work.  he's not putting pressure on me to "do it all" ... but i want to be able to do a lot of stuff on my TO DO LIST around the house.  i wish i was a more organized and prompt person.  i wish my house had a designated "place" for everything. 

day one was great - i cleaned up our bedroom and did a few loads of laundry.  i even folded it all and put it away.  i set my goals realistically and achieved them.  it felt good. 

day two was alright - i went to the grocery store with the baby but didn't get to organizing the bathroom sink like i was hoping to because she was wanting to be held through her entire afternoon nap.

day three (today) didn't start off well but its looking up - i held stella all morning because she wasn't having anything else and managed to get lunch made for nate and i and dinner in the slow cooker ... but i was frazzled and on the verge of tears through it all.  stella finally fell asleep while i held her and tried to eat lunch.  after nate left we went for a walk using our new stroller for the first time!  it is a beautiful fall day today and i was loving that we got to go out and enjoy the sun while its still here.  as i write this i realize that this day is not going as bad as i thought it was ... (happy sigh)

... i am trying to take the advice of many a wise woman i know and enjoy these moments and just hold my baby ... i know it will fly by and i will be missing these days very soon.

cutest little face you ever did see