of course i am grateful and ecstatic to be home with my baby girl ... i feel really blessed for the opportunity to be her mom AND that i get to stay at home with her. but today as my husband is calling me on his way home for lunch - hoping i have lunch ready for him when he gets here because he's in a rush - the baby is screaming because i put her down for a minute - and i was suppose to put the pot roast in the slow cooker earlier this morning ... i think to myself ... this is hard. which of course i knew it would be. but living it brings a whole new understanding.
mostly i feel guilty. because i want to be productive at home while my husband is at work. he's not putting pressure on me to "do it all" ... but i want to be able to do a lot of stuff on my TO DO LIST around the house. i wish i was a more organized and prompt person. i wish my house had a designated "place" for everything.
day one was great - i cleaned up our bedroom and did a few loads of laundry. i even folded it all and put it away. i set my goals realistically and achieved them. it felt good.
day two was alright - i went to the grocery store with the baby but didn't get to organizing the bathroom sink like i was hoping to because she was wanting to be held through her entire afternoon nap.
day three (today) didn't start off well but its looking up - i held stella all morning because she wasn't having anything else and managed to get lunch made for nate and i and dinner in the slow cooker ... but i was frazzled and on the verge of tears through it all. stella finally fell asleep while i held her and tried to eat lunch. after nate left we went for a walk using our new stroller for the first time! it is a beautiful fall day today and i was loving that we got to go out and enjoy the sun while its still here. as i write this i realize that this day is not going as bad as i thought it was ... (happy sigh)
... i am trying to take the advice of many a wise woman i know and enjoy these moments and just hold my baby ... i know it will fly by and i will be missing these days very soon.
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| cutest little face you ever did see |
Sometimes my daily goals are like "Keep baby from screaming all day without stopping." It seems like--especially in the first few months--the only thing you can really get done is baby baby baby, so don't feel bad about yourself if the house isn't sparkly clean or if you have to have a bowl of cereal for dinner. Little by little, you'll figure out strategies for doing all that other stuff. Babies are more fun than dishes anyway. :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat a precious baby. Oh how I remember those days of getting absolutely NOTHING done except holding a sleeping baby. You aren't alone in any of those feelings, but know things will get more routine and you're doing a great job! Stella is beautiful just like her Mom by the way! :)
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! Can'y get to everything, trying to take it all in. It's HARD!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh such a cute little girl! Can't wait till we get to see her in a few months.
ReplyDeletebethany we are so much alike!! i'm pretty much a perfectionist and like things tidy. everything tidy and in it's place. especially right now when you're just getting used to things, the ONLY thing on your to do list should be 1. keeping the baby alive. anything else is a bonus! this way you won't be hard on yourself or disappointed when your dreams of being the perfect mother and housewife don't happen. you may get there one day (i'm pretty comfortable now balancing kid/cleaning time) but give yourself some time. you deserve a while to just relax and enjoy your little girl after all you've gone through with the pregnancy and labor. and you're right; that tiny face won't be tiny forever :) good luck!
ReplyDeletei know exactly what to get you for christmas!!!
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