blessing day

we blessed stella in nate's parents ward on january 1st ... perfect way to kick off the new year!  nate did a wonderful job and it was great to have family there.

doing adult things

as a friend of ours pointed out last night ... we are are just moving right along with this thing called life. 

we got married a little over two years ago, had a baby two months ago, and are in the process of BUYING A HOUSE!  well to be exact ... a duplex - which means we will live in one unit and have renters in the adjoining unit.  so we are not only buying a house for the first time ... but becoming landlords as well.  whew ... we have a lot going on.  buying a house is a complicated process and very time consuming but we are getting through it.  we should close just after the new year.

in the mean time i have been painting and decorating the house in my head ... gathering ideas on pintrest and making floorplans online to see how we will arrange the spaces.  we will move into the three bedroom unit and have renters in the two bedroom.  this will allow us to have the baby's room and an office/guest room!  yay! here are my visions ...

three bedroom whole house layout

kitchen and dining - finally space for our little square table and chairs! and there is a ceiling fan which is nice and a sliding glass door to the right (south) to the backyard ... and there are a lot of cupboards and storage space!

 

possible living room layout ... that's big blue up top ... there are a few silly little shelves on the left and i am trying to decide if we want to make it more of a built in ... and where to put the tv?  make a built in around it? put it on the right of the fireplace?

the master bedroom ... the closets are a little small ... and there is an alcove that i plan on making a little closet for myself

 

 

the office/guest room will allow us to have visitors and Nate can have an office to grade papers and prepare lessons at home ... and we can have a place for organizing our important documents, etc.  yay!

stella's room! super excited to paint the walls and hang the flowers i made for her before she was born!

i have been thinking about a color palette for the house ... i am so excited!  a super awesome feature about the duplex is the TWO CAR GARAGE! woot woot.  now we have covered parking for ruby our car, space to work on my projects even when its raining, tons of shelving and storage,  AND we have a washer and dryer!  i am beyond excited.  not to mention that we have a backyard where we plan on trying our hand at a GARDEN come spring time and we will try COMPOSTING once we get our act together! 

so many big plans!  the main goal for this house will be to get really organized.  we won't be doing many "upgrades" to the house since we plan on it being a rental in the future someday and so don't want to put too much money into it ... i keep saying "its our first house, not THE house."  i want to work on everything having its place. 

i am excited for the next phase of our lives and diving in to home ownership ... hopefully everything will go smoothly and the house will be ours!  wish us luck!

5 weeks happenings

this is how momma sees stella most of the time ...

 on momma's lap ... her favorite place to fall asleep

surprised face after a bath ... we are slowly starting to enjoy the bath ...

 this picture is the biggest reason i need a new smaller, lighter, faster camera ... 

to catch moments like this ... this is how i found baby girl napping on the couch just moments ago

 loving these cheeks and they are getting bigger and bigger! 

documentation of her natural faux-hawk ... i swear her hair is getting lighter ... 

and i hope her tendency towards being cross-eyed lessens

 and this is what she does each evening when daddy gets home ... she is getting stronger and stronger each day holding her head up!  when nate is holding her i can better see just how little she really is and it still makes me tear up because then i feel really acutely just how much i really love them both ... being a mom is so emotionally overwhelming!

 we love the little pursed lips ... we have yet to catch the "oooo" look she does once in a while ... we love this little girl!

obsession

i know lots of other people have been on the whole Pinterest band wagon already ... but i recently got on.  and. i. am. obsessed.

so if you are on and you happen to see my 266 pins and counting or if you notice that i have repinned your pin, picture me sitting (probably in my pajamas) on my sofa with stella nursing or more likely sleeping on my lap.  clicking "repin" is way easier than typing so its kind of where i am at on what to do while my sweet baby wants to sleep close to momma.  i kind of love it once i get over the guilt of not doing anything else.  i am so lucky.

4 weeks

stella was four weeks old yesterday and its my third day "on my own" since nate went back to work monday.  of course this all coincided nicely with stella's decision to want to be held constantly and desire to nurse continually from 8pm to 1am.  so it looks like this week is a good introduction to the rest of my life.

of course i am grateful and ecstatic to be home with my baby girl ... i feel really blessed for the opportunity to be her mom AND that i get to stay at home with her.  but today as my husband is calling me on his way home for lunch - hoping i have lunch ready for him when he gets here because he's in a rush - the baby is screaming because i put her down for a minute - and i was suppose to put the pot roast in the slow cooker earlier this morning ... i think to myself ... this is hard.  which of course i knew it would be.  but living it brings a whole new understanding. 

mostly i feel guilty.  because i want to be productive at home while my husband is at work.  he's not putting pressure on me to "do it all" ... but i want to be able to do a lot of stuff on my TO DO LIST around the house.  i wish i was a more organized and prompt person.  i wish my house had a designated "place" for everything. 

day one was great - i cleaned up our bedroom and did a few loads of laundry.  i even folded it all and put it away.  i set my goals realistically and achieved them.  it felt good. 

day two was alright - i went to the grocery store with the baby but didn't get to organizing the bathroom sink like i was hoping to because she was wanting to be held through her entire afternoon nap.

day three (today) didn't start off well but its looking up - i held stella all morning because she wasn't having anything else and managed to get lunch made for nate and i and dinner in the slow cooker ... but i was frazzled and on the verge of tears through it all.  stella finally fell asleep while i held her and tried to eat lunch.  after nate left we went for a walk using our new stroller for the first time!  it is a beautiful fall day today and i was loving that we got to go out and enjoy the sun while its still here.  as i write this i realize that this day is not going as bad as i thought it was ... (happy sigh)

... i am trying to take the advice of many a wise woman i know and enjoy these moments and just hold my baby ... i know it will fly by and i will be missing these days very soon.

cutest little face you ever did see

two week stats

stella mae

fake smile - i can't wait for her real one! (her hands are up by her face always)

 

7 lb 11 oz - 50 percentile

20.5 in - 50 percentile

Post Delivery Story

Thursday October 6 - Saturday October 8 2011 - POST DELIVERY:

Because I had gestational diabetes during pregnancy both the baby and I were monitored and our blood sugar tested.  We both were free and clear the next day - no diabetes here!  We did both however have fevers and remained in the hospital until Thursday.  Before being discharged from the hospital they did a jaundice test (one where they scan her forehead) and it came out a bit high.  The pediatrician decided a blood test for a more accurate reading was necessary.  That showed a lower level then the first scan and so they went ahead and sent us home with instructions to come back in Saturday to the clinic to check up on her.

This is where the stress began ... she basically slept the entire time from Thursday through Saturday.  We had to wake her to try and feed her which seemed like an impossible task.  We would strip her down to her diaper and rub a wet wash cloth over her to make her cry and wake her up.  We rarely even saw her blue eyes - they were always shut tight!  She would fall asleep instantly when I tried to nurse her and because she never ate she didn't poop the entire time.  I knew that newborns slept a lot but this seemed like too much.  My gut told me something was wrong and Nate and I were panicked.  Through my sobbing we spent Friday night praying and trying to keep her awake as we constantly tried to get some food in her.  I know our prayers were answered as she ate more that night than the past few days combined and our minds were eased while we waited for our follow up appointment with the doctor.

Turns out there was some need for concern - she had lost a pound from her birth weight and looked increasingly more jaundiced.  We were re-admitted to the hospital right away and again I was a sobbing mess, although grateful that they were going to help us.  She immediately was put under glowing blue lights - bilie lights - to address the climbing jaundice levels.  At this point my milk had started to come in but since she disliked nursing so much I was in a lot of pain.  I began the process of relieving my swollen breasts through pumping and we also bottle fed donor milk to the baby.  These were hard days because we couldn't hold her very much - we could only take her out of the lights for feeding and diaper changes.  The good news was that she continued to be agreeable and not cry while under the warmth of the lights.

Grandpa Soelberg and Stella giving each other similar looks

All in all we were in the hospital from Saturday afternoon through Monday afternoon.  She still was not extremely enthusiastic about breastfeeding but I was now producing a little bit of milk and could pump as much as possible and supplement with formula.  She was gaining weight and her jaundice levels were way down.  It was sort of a "chicken and the egg" scenario - she was tired because she wasn't eating, she wasn't eating because she was tired, the jaundice made her tired and not want to eat, not eating made her more jaundiced because she wasn't pooping and ridding her body of the toxins, etc.

With Grandma Soelberg in the hospital

Each day at home she is getting more and more interested in breastfeeding and we are having more of the typical experience of having a newborn.  She is waking up when she is hungry, we see her eyes more often because she is actually awake, and she is gaining weight!  We get excited over poopy diapers in this house and when she cries out for food we smile and snuggle her because we are so happy she is improving!

As for me ... I had a second-degree tear and required quite a bit of stitching up, making the recovery a little challenging.  I continually forget that it hasn't been that long since I gave birth and to take it easy.  Just being around the house I am okay but doctor's visits and errands quickly ware me out and require a nap.  But the good news is that I have lost A LOT of water I had been retaining for the past few months - 20 lbs off already which is half of what I gained during pregnancy.  I still have another 20 to go plus an additional 35 of my own so we shall see how this goes.

i can't stop kissing those cheeks!

Right now I am thankful for a healthy baby that is nursing every 2-3 hours and getting even chubbier cheeks!  I am also thankful to have my feet back!  My feet have been swollen since month 5 and they got even worse a few days following Stella's delivery.  But just two days ago they came back!  I look forward to wearing shoes again!