The Birth Story (every detail)

Sunday October 2, 2011:

We checked into the hospital at 7:00pm with the intention of inducing labor.  I wasn't even remotely softening or dilating.  The first attempt at induction started at 8pm with the insertion of a pill close to my cervix.  The hope was that the drug would soften my cervix and start contractions.  We did this every four hours for the rest of the night - a total of 4 times - with not much improvement.

Monday October 3, 2011:

I was dilated 1 cm by Monday morning and I was having erratic and unproductive contractions (that were not painful).  Unfortunately the baby's heart rate was showing extreme highs and lows in response to the contractions so they decided to do a pitocin test to check more accurately her response to contractions.  This was the first mention of a possible C-Section.  Because my contractions were so erratic they gave me a low dose of pitocin with the hopes of observing 4 contractions in 10 minutes and observing the baby's heart rate in response.  Thankfully, she responded quite well to the pitocin test so my doctor decided to give me and baby a rest for the remainder of the day and let the medications get out of our systems and see if I would have more regular contractions on my own.  If not, we would try again with the insertion of the cervix softening drug and do Monday's whole process again.  As a result we were able to get about 7 hours of sleep Monday night - a welcome change from the night before of being monitored and checked periodically through the night.

Tuesday October 4, 2011:

Around 7am the nurse came in to start the insertion of the cervix softening drug ... she guessed I was maybe dilated 2cm.  Around 8:40am the doctor on call (my doctor had been on 24 hour duty on Tuesday and was now off) came in and checked me again saying that I was dialated 2cm and she could stretch me to 3cm (and I could feel it).  While she was in there she stripped my membranes and decided now was a good time to break my water.  I am glad she did it all at once but whoa ... that was super uncomfortable!  Contractions started in about 2 hours later once they could give me pitocin and then the real fun began.  While the pitocin did have the desired affect of stimulating contractions it did have some awful residual affects ... mainly coupling and tripling of contractions.  This means I did not experience those oft described periods of "rest" between contractions.  I can count on three fingers the number of restful minutes during my six plus hours of hard labor.  I would build up to a really strong contraction and after peaking I would slowly start to come down off the contraction but before I hit that period of rest my uterus would decide that it wasn't quite ready to quit and it would start the up swing into a SECOND contraction and peak slightly lower than the first contraction.  And if I was really lucky (which I often was) there would be a THIRD contraction to top it off.  I had hoped to be able to move around while laboring - using a birth ball and a soaking tub - but was unable to due to triple contractions and all the monitors I was on - including an internal monitor for my contractions.  To make matters worse I had a BAD case of the shakes.  My entire body shook in between contractions.  It was so bad that I felt a sense of desperation and started to fear the upcoming contraction - a really bad head-space to be in while in labor (in my humble opinion).

Needless to say I was exhausted.  After six plus hours the doctor came in to check my progress.  I had heard so much deflating news over the past few days that I was convinced that I was just suffering and that not much progress was being made.  Part of it was I couldn't get my hopes up.  I even expressed at one point that I wasn't sure that we were really going to have a baby today.  The nurses assured me that I would - one way or another.  I was ready to agree to a C-Section at this point if it was brought up again.  Unknown to me the nurses were convinced that I was not progressing either and had started the paperwork for it.  The doctor checked me and announced that I was dilated 7cm!  The entire room - my parents, the nurses, the doctor, Nate, and I - all cheered!  It was such a relief.  At this point the nurse informed me that I had escaped a C-Section a second time.

I felt a sense of accomplishment at this point and felt totally at peace with the decision to have an epidural.  My biggest fear was that I would have to be in that rounded position during a triple contraction or that my severe shaking would make the insertion of the needle impossible.  I expressed my concerns and the wonderful anesthesiologist assured me that she would be able to do it as long as no sudden movements happened.  The hospital had this amazing apparatus for me to get into position ... it looked like an upright massage chair where I put my forehead against it and a platform for my feet and I took a hold of Nate's shirt and held him close while arching my back.  THE EPIDURAL WAS A DREAM.  I have heard horror stories about them not working, leaving you unable to walk for sometime, only working on one side, etc. but I was sooo blessed to have it work perfectly.  My entire labor I had been mostly uncommunicative - breathing and moaning through the contractions while holding Nate's hand against the bed rail while on my side with a pillow between my legs.  It is important to note that Nate was awesome during the birth.  He was there for me the entire time - I really needed to feel his presence there and he watched the monitors vigilantly.  He had expressed concern about the sights and smells of birth and wasn't sure he would be able to get through witnessing it ... lets face it ... he was scared.  But in reality he was a champ and wanted to be a part of everything.  He pretty much saw it all and didn't feel like he needed to leave or couldn't handle what was going on.  I was really really happy.  Once the epidural had taken affect I was "back" - as Nate said - and was chatting up the room.  I felt like I could actually do this.  Another two hours went by while I finished dilating the remaining three centimeters ... which were actually really restful for me.

The baby was moving down slowly - the doctor assured me that my pushing was helping and although I couldn't feel it we were making progress.  Unfortunately it was much slower then we all wanted and they were getting increasingly concerned.  I had developed a fever and they were suspecting that an infection was brewing in my uterus and might be the cause of my erratic contractions.  They told me if we didn't start pushing now and get her out soon we were looking at a C-Section for a third time today.  The nurses and doctor decided not to mention to me that the size of her head (turns out to be 14 inches) and my pelvis were at odds and thus they were concerned that we weren't going to be able to deliver vaginally ... after all that work that information would have been hard for me to hear so I was thankful to learn that information later.  As we began to get ready for pushing my mom grabbed my left leg and Nate had my right leg and I reached behind my thighs and bared down.  I was unable to identify the strongest contractions from the weaker ones (because yes I was still having double and triple contractions) and we wanted to make sure we pushed on the strong ones.  We got going on the pushing and I felt as though my eyes were going to pop out of my head.  For pretty much all labor and delivery my eyes were shut as I channeled my energy into getting the baby out.  I was trying to not get too light headed or feel like I was going to pass out.  As pushing progressed the internal monitor was removed and I was on my own knowing when to push but by this time I had a good idea.  I could feel the contractions at the top of my uterus and they weren't painful and then I could feel the pressure down below.  I was now calling the shots in the room and telling everyone when to get ready because we were going to start pushing.  My dad was across the room - out of visual range - and we put him to work counting to ten.  He mostly did a great job except in the moments when he ran out of breathe and started acting like a personal trainer and trailing off with the counting.  At that point I yelled out - "this is not a work out video - I am not pushing until you say ten, I am quitting at ten." He started to shape up then - hahaha.

Although I was told that everyone could see her head I wouldn't allow myself to think it meant more than just a spot on her head.  In reality a good portion of her head was visible!  I took my cues more from actions around me than the words I was hearing - when everyone got excited and animated I realized she was coming!  When the doctor started to get on her protective gear I realized we were close and I pushed even harder.  The doctor at this point said that she was going to use a vacuum to help her get out of there and I tried my best to make due with out it.  In the end the vacuum is exactly what she needed.  After about 45 min of pushing out she came at 7:05pm!

Finally here!  And she has hair!

Its funny to say but it all happened so fast - she was out and up on my chest in one big motion.  I was in shock that she was finally here.  She hadn't yet cried and so they took her away for a moment and Nate went with her as they cleaned her up and got her crying - I could hear her right away and I cried also.  Nate quickly brought her back to me and we had over an hour skin-to-skin contact.  I was like a broken record saying "BABY" and "She's so beautiful" over and over and over again.  She looked amazing - nice and full cheeks with smooth skin!  No wrinkly new-born baby here!  Other than the substantial bruise and a few abrasions on her head from the vacuum, she was perfect.  I cried and thanked Heavenly Father for a beautiful and healthy baby girl.  Nate and I are just amazed at how beautiful and wonderful she is.  We love her so much.  We still look at each other and say, "we have a baby!" or "can you believe that we did that?  we birthed a baby!"

It truly is a miracle and I have a deeper and more profound respect for women across the world and the ages for sacrificing so much and being so brave.  I feel honored to be counted among those women who are called mothers.  I am also humbled by the responsibility of motherhood and am thankful for the influence of the Spirit to guide Nate and I thorough this journey of parenthood. 

Stella Mae we love you more than words can describe!